Fly or Fall?

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Okay. That’s the next thing on the list. Being productive today. So start a load and fold the three you didn’t finish yesterday. Come on, Self. You can do this.

*Yawn.* Shouldn’t Baby Butterfly be waking from her nap right about now? Nope. She slept right through me walking into the room. *Yawn.*

Stay productive, Self!

I’ll read this book I promised to review.

Dating Like Airplanes by Caleb Breakey

 The Butterfly wakes up as soon as I settle in.


Life. Life. Life. I finally picked the book up again after all the littles were asleep for the night. Before I had read two dozen pages I realized this book would give me more than I expected it to.

Falling wants–and usually with good intention. It wants the other’s attention, it wants their affection, it wants their time. Not some of it. Not part of it. Falling in love just wants. And that’s the problem. It doesn’t stop wanting until it ruins whatever was good about the relationship in the first place.

Flying, on the other hand, gives. It gives attention, it gives affection, it gives time. And it gives what’s needed most: Jesus’s love.

And it doesn’t stop. Ever.

Dating Like Airplanes, page 24

My husband and I will be celebrating ten years come May. I am thankful I don’t have to navigate the dating scene anymore. However, our babies are growing up at the speed of life. How do we guide them? The only parenting training anyone truly gets is on-the-job training.

But we can learn from those that have gone on before. We observe, ask questions, and read books. Lots and lots of books. I expected Dating Like Airplanes to give me more rules to consider as I teach my children how to go about looking for a mate.

Refreshingly, I was completely wrong. Caleb Breakey does mention a few possible guidelines for dating, but mostly he speaks of intentions. Why date anyone?

Caleb states more than once that any date should be a marriage possibility, but he says more than that. With tenderness he speaks of the heart we should have toward our “other.” (“Other” is the name Caleb uses for a spouse or potential spouse. I like it.)

As a teen I planned out a cartoon that would represent “falling in love.” I could see myself peering over the edge of a cliff as curiosity draws me closer and closer to the edge until Whoops! Tumble! Crash! Slip! Boom! All the way to the bottom . . .

Beaten and bruised I rise to my feet to face my true love. He has been through his own fall, but that is okay because we are in love so we can now join hands and walk off into the sunset of our happily ever after.

How romantic!

And how different from a healthy reality. Marriage is not about the number of hardships you can endure while remaining passionately in love. Marriage is two who become one who race the good race and fight the good fight for Christ. Together. “And it doesn’t stop. Ever.”

Dating or courtship should work with that end in mind. It may be an oversimplification, but the JOY acrostic comes to mind. Jesus-Others-Yourself. Can you follow Jesus first? That is the foundation. Don’t move on without it! Can you put the needs and wants of your other above your own wants and needs? If you cannot, especially if you cannot because you feel your other would take advantage of you, then perhaps this other is not the other for you. At least not yet.

Caleb Breakey’s book, Dating Like Airplanes, will guide you through the process of knowing whether or not you are ready to fly and finding a person you can fly with. Close your eyes and imagine flying for a moment. The clouds. The wind. The sunshine. Breath it in. Isn’t that better than falling?


This post contains affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy. Thank you for supporting my brainstorms.